Simplifying Relationships: 3rd place for recreational point

The life skill that I am going to share today is such a thinking process which, when adopted, we, our family and all our relationships can emerge very smoothly and help us to keep our relationships lively.

Many times it has been seen that when the father comes back home, his child comes running towards him to hug him, but instead of hugging him back, the father usually shouts back at the child, saying I have just come from outside; let me breathe. If a mother, who is also a working woman, comes back home, then a child playing with grandmother or grandfather, with all the excitement, goes running to the door as soon as the mother comes and starts asking, “mom, I want this, did you bring me anything? Can we go to the garden now? Can you prepare me this now, which I love to eat? “All this planning about communicating with the parents goes on in a child’s mind throughout the day, but even the tired mother who comes back from the office says, “son, for 10 minutes, please go and play with grandparents; don’t talk to me, I have just come home.”

In these situations, I would rather request all of you to think about a scenario and see what would happen if we reach the office in the morning with the child’s homework and the boss says come to my cabin for 1 minute. Will we give a similar answer to the boss? Will we say, “hey, I have brought my child’s homework. I will come to your cabin in 15 minutes.” Just because children are easier to be silenced, is it right to shout at them? I can understand the parent’s mental state. In fact, they come home very tired. And that is why I have brought a thinking process, a recipe to you. The name of that recipe is 3rd place! 3rd place means, apart from home and office, we have to find such a third place. It may be a place to drink tea or it may be a point where we reach home watching the sunset from a bridge or it may be a friend’s house. Whatever that place may be, every day after leaving the office and before reaching home, we have to stay there for five minutes to tell ourselves that “I have some responsibilities in connection with the office or on fronts of the office, in the same way, I have some responsibilities now towards home. I have some responsibilities and the family members are going to expect something from me according to those responsibilities.” Those responsibilities may be feeding a new dish or playing with children.  Find a recreation point, a re-activation point that gives you time to think for 5 minutes before reaching home from the office, a place that gives you a chance to spend time with yourself. It could be a coffee shop or even a small roadside tea stand. While drinking tea or coffee, you have to tell yourself that “now I have become fresh, now I want to go home and the family members will expect from me; without making them silent, I will understand my responsibilities, understand their expectations and respond positively to them. For which I am ready now.”

Slowly, you will come to know that life is coming back in your relationships. Not only that, when we sometimes shout at children, later on, we feel guilty for shouting at those innocent faces because it was not their fault. Living with such guilt can also be saved with this thinking process. Do remember the name of the recipe, 3rd place!