Simplifying Relationships: Focusing on the qualities of a person!

Today, I am going to narrate a story of flies. In this story, there is one honeybee and one fly. A fly moves from a dustbin and sits on dung. That means that fly moves from one place of dirt to another place of dirt. Whereas the honeybee moves from a red rose to a yellow rose.

Why am I sharing this story of flies today? It is because, both these flies are within our mind as well. They are the symbols of our focused mind, one mind which focuses on the faults of the other person and the other mind focuses on the skills or qualities of the other person. We shall consider the mind that focuses on the defects of a person to be a fly and the mind that focuses on the qualities of a person to be a honeybee.

When someone comes in front of us and tells us something, then how do we feel? What do we observe? We may either observe that this person stammers a lot while speaking or we may find something beneficial in what he is saying. What I am trying to tell you is that if our mind keeps picking on the defects in any situation, then the mind is behaving like a fly. If we keep having empowering thoughts in any situation, that is if we observe our benefits from the words spoken by other people, then the mind is behaving like a honeybee.

Our mind is capable of behaving in both ways. The way our mind behaves and the kind of thoughts it produces affects our mood. Do think about this. When we see others’ qualities and we talk to ourselves about those qualities, first of all, we feel good. For example, when we tell ourselves that this specific person is looking so beautiful in the dress he is wearing, first we feel good and later the person feels good when we tell him that he is looking beautiful. Similarly, when we find some flaws in that same dress, for example, that the shirt and trousers do not match each other and we tell this to that person, then even when telling that we don’t feel as good as when we were giving a compliment to that person.

This is why it will be beneficial for us to find good qualities in a person and talk to ourselves about the goodness of others by becoming a honeybee. Being a honeybee is beneficial for us as it will help our mental health as well.